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 الرسول زوجا

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انثى عدد المساهمات : 1599
تاريخ التسجيل : 04/09/2009
البلد : مصر

مُساهمةموضوع: الرسول زوجا   الجمعة سبتمبر 18, 2009 12:15 am

All of us wonder about the way the Messenger (PBUH) was with his wives. How he dealt with them? How he treated them equally?

The Prophet (PBUH) accomplished the happiness to every one of them; that is because he knew how to deal with the woman and he penetrated deeply into her sensitive soul and went on apostrophizing her with the warmth of passion and conduce her to work for her religion and her life.

And what about his wives-the Mothers of all believers -? If we search to know about their lives, we will find that most of the books describe the Prophet’s wives with a common quality; fasting a lot and spending their nights praying. So they were privileged with their nearness from Allah and in apostrophizing him all night , that’s why they deserved this great honor ,they deserved to be the Mothers of all believers, wives of the beloved Prophet(PBUH) in this life and in the hereafter.

But what about us? I know that a lot of the readers are married, and if not, they can see what is going on in most of the marriages these days, noticing the parents, relatives and friends. Why is the term” marital happiness” rare in our days?
The fact is that we ruined our lives by materialism, by forgetting our religion, our Islamic civilization and the teachings of the Prophet (PBUH). We forgot our love to Allah and committed sins publicly; our eyes and hearts do not blink for a moment that Allah is watching us.

What can we do now to let happiness come back to our marital lives?
There is only one way; the way of Allah and his Prophet (PBUH). This will make everyone happy with his partner in their marital life, and feel the meaning of the marital happiness that the Almighty Allah created.


Pampering his Wives and Treating them Kindly


We all read about the life of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in the fields of education, faith, politics, war, or economy but seldom was written or published about his life (PBUH) inside his house and his relationship with his wives. A person well informed about the familial relationships of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) finds out that it included meanings that we desperately miss in our present time. These meanings would contribute to the stability of our homes and marriages. In this article we are giving some examples of Prophet Muhammad's (PBUH) consideration to the feelings of his wives, his appreciation, and manifestation of love.



Calling one's wife with the name she loves the most or with a nickname or a musical name is one of the forms of pampering and being kind to one's wife. This can be seen in the life of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) who, in a saying 'Hadith' that is agreed upon by scholars, used to say to his wife Ai'sha: "Ai'sh, O Ai'sh, this is Gabriel saying peace be upon you."



He also used to call Ai'sha: "Homayraa'"-a short form of "Hamraa'" which, according to Ibn Kathir in The End 'Al Nehaya' , means the white skinned woman. Althahabi also said that "Hamraa'" in the language of the people of 'Hegaz' means white and blushing-a rare feature among them. So Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used to treat Ai'sha kindly and call her with lovely names.



Imam Muslim said that Ai'sha reported that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used to kiss one of his wives while fasting which made her laugh may Allah be pleased with her.

In another saying 'Hadith', Ai'sha said that Muhammad (PBUH) said that the best of the believers is the one who is best in manners and kindest to one's wife.



These sayings 'Hadiths' demonstrate how Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) cared for his wives and how well he treated Ai'sha may Allah be pleased with her. One of the forms of cuddling and well treating one's wife is feeding her with one's own hands. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: "Whatever you spend is considered charity even the mouthful that you put in your wife's mouth." Even the food that one feeds one's wife with one's hands is considered an act of charity that is rewarded by Allah (SBWT) and not only an action that guarantees one her love and cooperation.



Cuddling and being kind to one's wife has a tremendous emotional effect on her. This action of following the example of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) costs a man nothing and grants him Allah's reward, his wife's love and cooperation. Therefore a man is commanded to cuddle and treat his wife kindly.



A man's nature dictates him a certain way of expressing his feelings and it is different from a woman's. A woman expresses her love with words like, I love you, I miss you, I need you, etc. On the other hand, a man expresses love in action and production and seldom with words. If a man wants to tell his wife that he loves her he buys her something she wants or brings some food and drinks or furniture to the house. According to a man, this is a form of expression.



The generous Prophet has indeed overcome this negative trait in the nature of men. He used to describe his love and passion verbally for Lady Ai'sha may Allah be pleased with her, treated her kindly, pamperd her, and let his wives hear what they wished for from their beloved husband. This is an important aspect in a relationship. Ibn Assaker narrated that Lady Ai'sha may Allah be pleased with her said that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) told her: "I could not care less to die knowing that you are my wife in heaven." Imagine Lady Ai'sha's emotions having heard the words that guaranteed her security, love and peace in this life and in the hereafter.

Al Aas Ibn Al Rabee' the husband of Zaynab the daughter of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) leaves Makkah escaping Islam. She sends him to return and embrace Islam. He sends her a letter, an extract of which is: "By Allah, I don't see your father as an offender and I love nothing more than following the same route
with you dear beloved. However, I hate being said that your husband has let his people down. Would you consider this and pardon me?" The letter demonstrates that Al Aas loved zaynab and wanted to be with her in whatever road. Moreover he hated that people would talk in a way that displeases her. At the end he asks her to consider and pardon him, for the sake of that love Zaynab could go to him and return with him a Muslim

Some writers demonstrate the respect of the West to women by giving examples like a husband opening the door to the car to his wife. At the surface, this is respect. However, a mature person can see many aspects in which a woman is being offended and disrespected in the West. Muslims do not have the issue of man/woman conflict because they believe each one completes the other and that mutual respect is a must.

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is our example in this. One time during his stay alone in adoration of Allah in the last ten days of Ramadan, his wife Lady Safeya came to visit him and spoke with him for some time then went to the door. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) led her to the door to say goodbye. In another narration, he told her: "Do not hurry to leave till I come with you." Her house was at Ussama's and he (PBUH) left with her. Respect is the source of continual love and stability in a family. Therefore we wish it to prevail between a man and a wife.



If spouses treated each other in such way, a marriage would definitely be beautiful. We desperately need to leaf through the life of the Prophet (PBUH) and the Islamic history to discover the most beautiful theories in the art of marriage.

The Prophet’s Way of Applying Love
the Prophet’s has his ways in applying love.

Lady Aisha was asked about the first thing the Prophet was making when entering his home. She replied: he was using siwak (arak stick for tooth cleaning).Narrated by Muslim

Some scholars said that the Prophet did that to kiss his wives when arriving home.

Al Bukhary narrated :”Lady Aisha said that she was perfuming her husband; his head and beard. She was also combing the Prophet's hair even if she was menstruating."



Now some of men don't beautify themselves for their wives besides the bad smell of smoking persons. Some don't care for their bodies and armpits smell, clothes, hairs and nails. They neglect embellishments towards their women.

Women have rights to see and smell all good from their husbands. Follow the Prophet’s example in that matter and you will see how these things increases love between husbands and wives.



Ibn Abbas said that he was beautifying himself for his wife because it is her right to see him in his best conditions as he likes the same from her.

The Almighty Allah said: ". And they (women) have rights (over their husbands) similar (to those of their husbands) over them to what is reasonable "(Al Bakara:228)



Another example :

A women came to Omar Ibn Elkhatab and asked him to divorce her from her husband. When the Khaliefa saw him he knew the reason of his wife’s hatered towards him. So he ordered him to have a bath, adjust his nails, his hair and his clothes. His wife didn't recognize him at the beginning, then she knew him and yielded the idea of divorce because she became very happy with this great change.



Yahia Ibn Abdelrahman Alhandhaly mentioned that he saw Muhammad Ibn Alhanafia in a red wrap and his beard was dropping some scents from it. When he asked him about that, he answered him that it is for the sake of his wife who likes to see him like that, the same way he likes to see her in.



Learn the ways of increasing love between you and your wife…Follow the example of the Prophet and his companions May Allah be pleased with them…

Apply what you like to see from your wife upon yourself to strengthen all love relationships and live a happy live…
The Prophet’s Good Companionship


No woman know a good marital companionship –as that companionship means in the perfectness of a person- as she knew of the Prophet of Allah (PBUH), which is clear in the Holy Quran in his attitude, sayings, and deeds.



The most things that specifies the Prophet’s morals with his wives was his good companionship, cheerfulness, joking with his family, laughing with his wives, mildness and generosity .



Even when he was racing with Aisha – mother of the believers, may Allah be pleased with- in the desert in one of his trips, is to show love to her by that. She said that the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) raced me and I won, that was before I gained some weight. Then I raced him after that and he won. He said:" we are equal."



The Prophet used to gather his wives everyday in the house of the one he will spend the night with. He eats dinner with them sometimes then everyone leaves to her home. He was sleeping with his wife under one slogan, which is; to take off his rope from his shoulders. After praying al Ishaa prayers (which is the last prayer of the day), he goes home and sits with his family a little before he goes to sleep.



The Prophet (PBUH) put a criterion for the best of men in the good treatment to their wives. He said:" the best one of you is the best to his family, and I am the best one of you to my family. "Narrated by At-Tirmithy

That is because artificiality and pretension of high moral standards becomes weak when the person feels that he has authority and power and becomes weaker when he stays a long time with the one he has authority on. If the person keeps on his moral perfection in a society he has power on and has continuous intimacy with, so this is the best person in morals.



If the Prophet (PBUH) is the best one for his family, so his intimacy to them must be really perfect ,in all means of moral perfection, behaviors ,love, justice, mercy, loyalty, and all what marital life demands in all conditions and days.

Sunnah books, Shamael, and Seerah clarified that. That is what honorable Sunnah shows in many of the Prophet’s sayings regarding his behaviors with his family and his treatment to them.


(2) Amr Bin al Aas – may Allah be pleased with_ asked the Prophet :” O Prophet of Allah who is the woman you love most?” the Prophet replied: “Aisha”. Amr said:” And from men,?” he said:” her father.” Narrated by At-Tirmithiy



B- About the Prophet’s playing with his family, Aisha – may Allah be pleased with- says:

(1) I was playing with my friends at the Prophet’s home and when he (PBUH) arrives, they leave, so he let them come in to play with me again.” Narrated by Al-Bukhary



(2) Aisha -may Allah be pleased with- said :” the prophet of Allah (PBUH) was standing at the door of my room covering me with his rope; to look at the playing of the Ethiopians with their spear. He was very much concerned of Aisha’s young age who keens on having amusement”



(3)We also mentioned the previous hadith talking about the Prophet’s race with Aisha – may Allah be pleased with- which shows that the Prophet’s kindness and mercy.



(4)An example of his good companionship and the nobility of his morals:

Aisha- may Allah be pleased with- said :” I was drinking while I was menstruating and then gave the cup to the Prophet (PBUH) so he put his mouth where I put mine to drink.” Narrated by Muslim

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انثى عدد المساهمات : 208
تاريخ التسجيل : 09/09/2009
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مُساهمةموضوع: رد: الرسول زوجا   الإثنين سبتمبر 28, 2009 7:40 pm

The loyalty of the Prophet (PBUH) towards his Wives

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was immensely honorable and loyal to his wives especially to Lady Khdaija may Allah be pleased with her. Although Lady Ai'sha never saw Lady Khadija and was never harmed by her, she said: "I was never more jealous of a wife of the Prophet than I was of khadija because the Prophet (PBUH) mentioned her and praised her a lot."
The loyalty of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) to his wives was clear when the “verse of choosing” was revealed-: {O you Prophet, say to your spouses, "In case you would (like) the present life (Literally: the lowly life, i.e., the life of this world) and its adornment, then come, and I will allow you (the necessary) enjoyment and will release you a becoming release}(Al Ahzab:28)- first he went to Lady Ai'sha and told her that he will tell her something and that she should not rush to make a choice until she discusses it with her parents. Considering that she was young, he was worried that she would choose worldly pleasures and lose this life and the hereafter. But she knew what was good for her more than her parents. She told the Prophet (PBUH): "Do you want me to discuss this with my parents? I choose Allah, His Prophet, and the hereafter."


After Lady Ai'sha had made her choice she asked the Prophet not to reveal it to any of the other women. He told her that Allah had not sent him obstinate but a tutor and a facilitator and he shall tell any of his wives if they ask. Then he went to tell his other wives and reported what Lady Ai'sha may Allah be pleased with her had chosen.



They all chose Allah, His Prophet, and the hereafter. They had the great manners of the Prophet (PBUH) and so chose what he chose and like him they abstained from pursuing worldly pleasures and only wanted the hereafter.


The Prophet's Dealing Justly with his Wives


Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) dealt justly with his wives. He loved them and showed his feelings toward them. He was also patient and loyal with them. His actions sprang from a feeling of responsibility and because Allah the Almighty created him righteous and equitable by nature.



Lady A'isha (may Allah be pleased with her) said that the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him)never preferred one wife over another and he used to see all of them in their homes everyday even though he spent the night with one only.



He was constant in his equitable treatment of his wives despite the changes in his conditions. He remained the same whether he was traveling or present at home. When he had to travel he would choose without personal preference - (by drawing straws) which wife would accompany him.



He used to spend one day and one night with each wife except when Lady Sauda Bint Zam'a reached old age and no longer had sexual desire. She dedicated her day and night to Lady A'isha (may Allah be pleased with them). In this way, Lady Sauda was also seeking to please the Prophet (peace be upon him).



Another example of how the Prophet (peace be upon him) dealt justly with his wives was that when he married a virgin he would stay with her for seven nights so that she would not feel lonely. After that, he would spend the same amount of time with her as his other wives. When he (peace be upon him) married Umm Salama, he said to her: "There is no lack of estimation for you on the part of your husband. So, if you desire I can spend a week with you, and if you like I may spend three (nights) and then I will visit you in turn." She said: "Spend three (nights)." Narrated by Muslim.



Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) treated his wives equally even during his last days when he was very ill. He used to go to each of his wives in her turn. Lady A'isha (may Allah be pleased with her) said that when the Prophet (peace be upon him) became very sick he asked his wives for permission to be nursed at Aisha's house. Naturally, they agreed.



In another narration, Lady A'isha (may Allah be pleased with her) said that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) asked in his last days: "Where should I be tomorrow?" He was hoping that it would be the turn of A'isha. His wives permitted him to stay wherever he wanted. He stayed with Lady A'isha until he died and he died in her arms.



Although the Prophet (peace be upon him) treated his wives with perfect equity in what he could control, he apologized to Allah the Almighty that he could not be equitable in what he could not control; meaning, the feelings in his heart. Lady A'isha (may Allah be pleased with her) reported that the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) used to treat his wives equally, and say: "O Allah, this is how I divide what I can control. O Allah, do not blame me for what You control and I can not control." Abu Dawoud said: "Prophet Muhammad meant what is in his heart." Allah the Almighty controls our feelings and hearts and made the love of Lady A'isha (may Allah be pleased with her) greater in the heart of the Prophet (peace be upon him) than the love of any other woman. Indeed, he could not control that.



As our feelings are out of our hands and are in the hands of Allah; men who are married to more than one wife are not obliged to love each wife equally, but they are bound to be equal in spending time with them and paying for their expenses. The Prophet (peace be upon him) implored Allah the Almighty to forgive him for loving Lady A'isha more. Allah the Almighty says: "And the ones who bring whatever they bring with hearts tremulous that they are returning to their Lord." (Al-Mu'minun: 60)





Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) stressed the importance of dealing justly with wives because otherwise on the Day of Judgment the man will be severely punished.



Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the best example for the faithful believers. Allah the Almighty says: "Indeed, you have already had a fair example, in the Messenger of Allah, for whoever hopes for Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah much." (Al-Ahzab: 21)



The words and actions of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) are legislations guiding his 'Umma' (nation) to the right path. We should follow in the footsteps of the Prophet (peace be upon him) except for the actions intended by Allah the Almighty to be for him alone.


The Prophet Urged Men to Keep a Good Company with their Wives

Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him – has guided his people to keep a good company with their wives by word and deed, and there are many traditions in this regard of our Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him – and here are some of them:


1- Al Bukhari & Muslim narrated that Abu Huraira – may Allah be pleased with him – reported that Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him – said: "Treat women kindly, they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is the highest part thereof; so, if you tried to rectify the rib it will be broken and if you left the rib as it is, it will remain crooked, and women are like this; therefore treat them kindly".


There is another narration to the same tradition by Muslim stated: "If you tried to rectify her she will be injured, and injuring her means divorcing her". The Prophet – peace be upon him – directed men not only to treat woman kindly, but also demonstrated their truth to convince men in accepting his precious advise, because if the men realized that women are crooked by nature, then they should be patient with women knowing that they cannot be straightforward always, and knowing that they are acting by their very nature; therefore, insisting on the straightforwardness of woman to the ideal level was a point of surprise for the poets, and some of them said:


The Woman is like a crooked rib which cannot be rectified; thus, trying otherwise will break such rib.


Another poet said:

The one who tries to use things beyond their nature is like the one who wants a torch in the water.

2- Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him – repeated this commandment in several occasions. In the last pilgrimage (Hijjat Al Wadda), our Prophet – peace be upon him – devoted an essential part of his great sermon to this commandment and said: "Treat woman kindly, they are captives in your houses, you have no way except to treat them kindly unless they commit a clear-cut abomination, in which case, desert them in the bed, if not feasible, strike them gently but do not cause them any harm, thereafter, if they obeyed you do not wrong them. You have a right on your wives and your wives have a right on you; your right on them is that they should keep your honor and do not allow any person to enter your houses if you do not like them to enter, and their right on you is to treat them kindly and provide them with clothing and food". Narrated by Muslim.


The Prophet – peace be upon him reiterated his commandment for woman because he knows well their nature. This nature cannot be tolerated by some of the men who do not have control on themselves when they got angry; thus, their intolerance on the crookedness of the women leads them to divorce them; consequently, they lose their wives and scatter their families.


Therefore, the Prophet – peace be upon him – guided the Muslim husbands in another tradition to the right way of dealing with their families by saying:

3- "The faithful husband should not hate his faithful wife, because if he hates certain manner in her character, then he should not forget the other good manners in her character". Narrated by Muslim.


4- The Prophet – peace be upon him – said also: "Those who are the best believers are those who have the best manners and the most kind to their families". Narrated by Al Tirmithi and others.


5- The Prophet – peace be upon him – said also: "The best of you is the best to his family and I am the best of you to his family".


6- The Prophet – peace be upon him – said also: "Anything not involving the Remembrance of Allah is vanity or negligence except four things: exercising shooting, training the horse, playing with his family and learning swimming". Narrated by Al Nasa'i.


There are plenty of traditions urging the Muslims to have good manners with their families and relatives


It is true that the Prophet – peace be upon him – was all the time treating his wives – mothers of the believers, may Allah be pleased with them – kindly and lovely but this was not the case all the times; because the Prophet – peace be upon him – was wise & prudent, and was taking the right action in the right circumstances; therefore, if the kind treatment was feasible and useful, then he will never hesitate to treat them kindly, but if discipline, prevention and desertion were more appropriate, then he will apply it. A poet said in this regard:


Patience and Forbearing will not be feasible or useful if there were no determination and strictness.


Women are by nature crooked, tending to their sentiments and need always to be educated,
and disciplined; therefore, Allah The Almighty has assigned this responsibility to the men by saying: {Men are the ever upright (managers) (of the affairs) of women for what Allah has graced some of them over (some) others and for what they have expended of their riches. So righteous women are devout, preservers of the Unseen for. And the ones whom you fear their non-compliance, then admonish them and forsake them in their beds, (Literally: a madajic= reeclining) and strike them, (i.e. hit them lightly) yet in case they obey you, then do not seek inequitably any way against them; surely Allah has been Ever-Exalted, Ever-Great} An-Nisa': 34.


The Prophet – peace be upon him – has applied this manner with his family in order to teach Muslims the right way of education and discipline as he taught them to be kind and forbearing with their families.


When the wives of the Prophet – peace be upon him – asked him for spending on them more than the normal limits and wanted to enjoy more pleasures and delights in this transitory life beyond what the Prophet – peace be upon him – determined and elected to himself, he deserted them for one month until Allah The Almighty revealed this verse on him: {O you Prophet, say to your spouses, "In case you would (like) the present life (Literally: the lowly life, i.e., the life of this world) and its adornment, then come, and I will allow you (the necessary) enjoyment and will release you a becoming release ¯ And in case you would (like) Allah and His Messenger and the Last Home, then surely Allah has prepared for the fair-doers among you a magnificent reward} (Al-Ahzab: 28-29); therefore, the Prophet – peace be upon him – gave them the choice either to stay with him with the minimum necessary to support live or to separate; so, they elected to obey Allah the Almighty and his Prophet – peace be upon him – as mentioned before in the narration of Anas, Um Sallama and Abdullah Bin Abbas in Al Bukhari & Muslim.


The Prophet – peace be upon him – was like this if the matter required determination in treating his wives, such as in case of committing any religious mistake which cannot be disregarded, in which case, the Prophet – peace be upon him – denounce such mistakes without taking any regard to anything except the pleasure of Allah The Almighty; therefore, he was using several methods such as preaching, direction, frightening and anger according to the circumstances of each case.


All of this proves the sublime morals, manners and wisdom of the Prophet – peace upon him – as he was taking the right action in the right circumstances.

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انثى عدد المساهمات : 208
تاريخ التسجيل : 09/09/2009
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مُساهمةموضوع: رد: الرسول زوجا   الأحد أكتوبر 04, 2009 6:34 pm

تمت مراجعة الموضوع مراجعه الكترونيه

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مُساهمةموضوع: رد: الرسول زوجا   الأحد أكتوبر 18, 2009 1:47 pm

تم مراجعة الموضوع مراجعة لغوية

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